Written by ‘Kid of a Chef”
I like Men.
Lots of them.
Some days I just want one man; others days, I want to be pleased many times a day by many different men.
Specifically, I like a Man who has a golden tan and smooth body clothed with adornments so fine that it makes my mouth drool and eyes widen at the very site.
I want my Man to be warm, comforting and have a scent that is unlike any other.
And I want him to taste like Ginger.
He may be a mere cookie, but my Man made of Gingerbread makes me feel as if I am being rescued from a world of flavourless food by a succulent saviour. My senses fill with his aroma, my body tingles at the thought of having one little taste, and my mind lingers on thoughts of the satisfaction he will bring me when we meet. He is the hero of my taste buds; the dessert and main course all-in-one.
Although my Gingerbread Man does not come with a noble steed (unless I find a cookie cutter in that shape…) or rescue Damsel’s in distress, I feel as if I could love him forever; or at least until I lick the last delectable crumbs from my lips and I cozy up to his friend who is lounging supine on the cookie sheet.
I am not the only one who lusts after cookies. I share my love of Gingerbread with many other people (although I admit that I am hesitant to literally SHARE my cookies with them…we are all selfish in our own ways), and I have a good idea why: Gingerbread People are a perfect synonym for creating our ideal mate or ultimate self. Each little cookie starts out looking the same: two arms, two legs, one head and endless possibilities.
I always decorate my Cookie-Men to be handsome and brilliantly clothed in the finest icing money can buy, with flowing locks of liquorice hair and bright jujube eyes. My Cookie-Women wear M&M jewels and model the latest in designer gum-drop shoes. Through my cookies, I create my Utopia. In a perfect world, I too would emit the scent of freshly baked cookies and would be adorned with extravagant fashions and edible jewellery…and my real-life man would always wear what I tell him to (plaid-shirts and faded jeans are out of the question!).
I feel as if I journey with my Gingerbread Cookies from conception to consumption, and the personal attachment I feel for my creations makes their taste all-the-more sweet. Oh sure, I have tried to make Men-Cookies out of peanut butter or chocolate-chip dough, but it is just not the same. The marriage between the fragrance of Gingerbread and the perfection of the dough that can be formed into shapes is a beautiful union indeed. Just as beautiful as that first bite of Gingerbread heaven.
Perhaps I will never be a faithful consort in my love affair with the Gingerbread Man, for I will always be searching for yet another Man to satisfy my desires, but my love will never diminish. I will remember each-and-every Man I consume, I will savour every moment we spend in each other’s company, and I will never stop craving his sweet flavour.
Vanilla Bean Poppers – Holiday Variation
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Fabulous read that saved me from being horribly bored at work! Thanks for that!
I have to say, I recall “kid of a chef” giving me array of gingerbread cookie cutters for my birthday where they were missing arms and legs, even a head. I guess my men aren’t going to be so perfect.
Love the post! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it!! 😉